My body is filled with the regret
Of the things my mind longs to forget
I don’t want to be this person anymore
I wish I could close this one open door
My mind constantly thinks it over
If only I could find a four leaf clover
Then I could wish for all this to disappear
So that I wouldn’t have to live in this constant fear
Of the times your near
Or of the nights I’m on my own
I might now be full grown
But some days I wake with the fear that I did when I was eight years old
So many times I’m overcome by the thoughts of the story I’ve rarely told
I try to bury it deep inside of me
So that I can become the person I’ve always longed to be

– Esjae xo

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