I’ve really been struggling to get back into writing poems, but I have finally written one today that I really like:

Not For Your Entertainment

You know my name not my story
You see me fall down but you won’t help, just simply ignore me
Behind my eyes are the silent tears I want to cry
But instead I’ll wear a smile that’s an innocent lie
There are so many things I want to say
But I’ll save them for some other day

I’ll pretend I’m filled with happiness
Because today there isn’t anything I want to confess
You can try to guess
But I won’t tell you anytime soon
It’s almost as though this fake happiness is some kind of costume

Too many people pretend they want to know you
But all they want to do
It talk about you
I’m not going to be dragged into that black hole
Because I want to keep some form of control
On my life and what you know
As it isn’t for your entertainment, its not a stage show

I know who I can trust
And with them there isn’t anything I can’t discuss
At times I might not make the best decisions
But I’ll always have the few who support my ambitions
There might be times I take these people for granted
But I’ll always appreciate the support they have given me
As they always look beneath the surface and really see
How I’m feeling on my good and bad days
They will never ask for me to explain
Because they already know whats going on inside my brain

That’s why I don’t care
If some people stop and stare
Because I have the people around me
That know me and look beyond what they see
It’s their opinion that I care about
Not those who talk to you to have something to shout about
– Esjae xo

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