I previously posted this poem on YouTube but realised it hasn’t appeared on my blog;I have every feeling while having no emotionThe doctor is trying to give me every pill and potionThe think they can fix me upBut it isn’t as simple as finding a cure for a sample in a cupTrying to detach myself from the bad things around meAttempting to forget the memories my mind makes me seeFlashbacks at nightFill every inch of my body with frightPanic attacks in the dayStop me from saying the words my mind needs to sayEveryone tells me ‘one day it will get betterAnd you know little Stacey, one day you’ll forget her’That would be easy for me to doIf the past I have wasn’t the one I knewThe older I getThe more I’m supposed to forgetThe problem is the older i am the more I rememberTo the government I’m just another numberI’m speaking up for every victim or survivor who doesn’t know what to sayOr at least I’m giving it a go anywayPick yourself up and dust yourself downI don’t know why you always wear a frownYou should be happyI don’t understand why you get so snappyBut you were fine this morningDon’t you get some kind of warningI can’t be around you like thisI try and tell them I didn’t ask for a past like thisThere are parts of my childhood I missOthers remembered with guilt and shameWondering if I was the one to blameI could call you every name under the sunI could disappear and go on the runBut that wouldn’t change the things he has doneThat would mean that he’s wonI might not see him in courtHe was a coward and couldn’t face getting caughtI was kept quiet for too longAbout the things he did to me that were so wrongWhy should I be the one to be made to feel guiltyWhen it was him who did those things to mehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHwjqW5nwZs

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