National Poetry Month

First off… Happy Easter, I hope you have eaten your weight in chocolate!

I found out today that April is National Poetry Month. Now if you’ve followed my blog for a while you’ll know I like writing poetry so I have decided I am going to write a poem every day this month.

Here is my first one…

PTSD

I have PTSD

But that doesn’t mean

That I am any less of a person than you

I’ve done things I’ve been told I’d never be able to

I’ve done things I’m not proud of

I was told I’d never be capable of love

If truth be told

I never thought that I’d get this old

I stood on top of a bridge ready to fall

Because I didn’t think I could cope with it all

I’ve come a long way since that day

There’s still things that I don’t say

Because I don’t want the words to become real

And there’s some emotions I don’t want to feel

I’ve been in and out of therapy

Trying to get some kind of clarity

Learning how to deal with the past

And how panic attacks really don’t last

I’ve learnt what my triggers are

And while my mental health isn’t an external scar

It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt the same

When I hear any mention of his name

I laugh and make jokes in the day

While at night I lay and cry because I couldn’t find the words to say

I hide the feelings I have so deep

Because if I didn’t I’d never be able to sleep

Yes I have PTSD

As a result of things that have happened to me

But that will never define the person I’m learning to be

You might not believe me, but wait and you’ll see