My Story To Tell | Spoken Word Poem

I have recently been getting back into writing poetry, here is the first one. I hope to be sharing more poetry in the future!

https://youtu.be/1hJjx9EE9uo

There’s some people who would rather that this story wasn’t told
There’s some people who feel guilty but they weren’t to know how the story would unfold
There’s only one person to blame
And even now I struggle to say his name

Physically he is dead
But he is still alive when I try to close my eyes in bed
My body shudders at the thought of his hand on my skin
It’s a constant battle to not let these thoughts win

I tried to get him convicted for his crime
But I never got to see him do time
Instead it’s me doing the sentence
But if I’m the victim how does that make sense

People don’t always realise
That for so long I was living in a web of lies
This isn’t a story I want to hide

On paper I’m a statistic
Numbers on a page seem so simplistic
So when I say, ‘I was just a kid when he raped me’
All of a sudden it’s as complicated as it can be
For 13 years he came back for more
Creeping through that closed bedroom door

And some would argue it stopped the day he committed suicide
So to them I ask, ‘What about the scars I hide on the inside?’
I struggle with depression and anxiety
But I’m done trying to deal with it quietly
I’m not asking for any kind of award
Just that telling my story may help another victim come forward